Post foot surgery reflections

On Thursday, I went in to have surgery on my broken pinky toe. I can't believe that I had to have SURGERY on a freaking PINKY TOE. But the doctor said that my toe was not growing back properly just by taping it, so they decided to put in a pin, which will be in for about 6-8 weeks. That is 6-8 weeks of no running.



Drew and I dropped off Grace at about 11 a.m. at her Mimi's work (New Balance just relocated their office AGAIN, right at Watson and 44, which was on our way to the hospital). She was super excited to get to spend the day with her Mimi and as we were leaving, we could hear her excited incoherent jibber jabber and knew she was in good hands. :)

My surgery was scheduled for 12:30, and we were told to arrive by 11:30. We got there in plenty of time, checked in, got into my hospital gown, urine samples, IV put in, and good to go. I was originally supposed to be sedated where I would be awake and cognizant of the procedure, but not feel anything, but they decided to put me completely under, which I was so appreciative of. I've already had to deal with needles in my eyes for a completely separate health complication (more on that later) and I think I've had enough of the pain/needles/procedures for a while.

I woke up about 30 minutes later, with my foot wrapped up and I was ready to go. They prescribed me Hydrocodone and Tramadol for the pain, but I decided to not get the Hydrocodone because it makes me extremely hyper/awake, nauseous, and itchy. (To the point where my skin is crawling, and I scratch my skin furiously like a meth addict. No thanks.) The Tramadol only makes me slightly itchy, so Tramadol it is.

The past few days have been hit or miss. Just a lot of sitting on the couch and when I do get up, walking with a boot on my foot. We are dog sitting our cousin's two dogs, so we have a total of three dogs in the house now, plus an almost two year old, but the craziness is fun. :)

I got on Facebook and saw that several of my friends had completed the Rock N Roll Half Marathon today and it put me in a bad place mentally. I don't know how to describe it but I have just been filled with a deep sadness that I just can't shake. I imagine that it has a lot to do with not being able to run/exercise, which has been my way of dealing with depression and anxiety. I've never treated it with medication and just managed with exercise. When I was pregnant, I stopped exercising because of a scare in which I almost miscarried- but that led to a lot of crazy hormones/depression and even after I had Grace, the postpartum depression was out of control. I finally got my shit together, so to speak, when I started running again, and up until my foot injury, I was in a lot better place, mentally.

Now that I can't run, I'm starting to get back into that place and the way I have been dealing with it is just crawling in bed and hiding under the covers for hours and not wanting to get out of bed, ever. 8 weeks of dealing with this is a long time, and I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it out to the other side.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading my rambling. :)