As I was talking to my teacher friend, Nikki, about the integrity/honesty situation that I have been dealing with at work, I told her that I feel like I have been particularly under fire lately with administration for little issues that all pile up to me feeling like a huge failure.
I was just about to type up all of the incidents, but realized it is probably not a smart thing to do to be opening up Pandora's box on my blog.
But Nikki made a good point- every teacher makes mistakes. You just don't hear about it. I just feel like no one ever has to deal with the stress and drama that I have to deal with, especially when it comes to dealing with parents and students.
When I screw up, it seems like a big deal to me because I feel like I am the only one screwing up. But all teachers (and people in all professions, as a matter of fact) screw up- and I just need to not be so hard on myself. This is only second year of teaching, and it is only through my mistakes that I will learn.
I still have this impending feeling of guilt and doom in the pit of my stomach- that all of these stupid minor issues are piling up into something bigger, something that will cause me to one day eventually change the opinions of those I work with, and perhaps cause me to lose my job.
Do I sound completely insecure?
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